I dreaded this day. All my son’s firsts I looked forward to and documented in photos, awed over with drool. Every moment was so special, every milestone etched into my memory. Not this though. Graduation does not feel like a milestone, it feels like a good bye. A good bye to childhood.

I know this should be a happy day and it will be, more or less. I am proud of my boy. He is sweet, intelligent, and is going off to college. How could a mom not be happy? It’s only  because I want the years to roll back. I want more time.

He is trading in the Superman cape he wore to his first day of school for a cap and gown on his last. These have been the most amazing years of my life. My child has made these years precious.  Saying good bye to everything he has touched and made so super does not feel like cause for celebration. Yeah, I will always have my memories but I am selfish I want more, more years.

I can’t fight the impossible. This is going to happen– today. I will have to dig up a smile and find some joy. He is happy and that is what truly matters the most to me… despite myself. He is eager to move on and so I will of course support him with everything I’ve got.

I will say goodbye to his childhood too.