I have a knack for doing some crazy shit. Nothing major, just some not well thought out stuff that gets impulsively executed.
Often I amuse myself. For example, last Friday an incident with my son occurred. About 7 years ago we did an ancestry test. My son’s results found that he has a 1% ancestor lineage from Chad Africa. I thought this was cool. On the school registration cards where it asks your nationality, a practice I am opposed to, I decided to put him down as African American. I didn’t think anyone looked at these things anyway. Well, on Friday they called him in for a mandatory all Black Assembly at his High School. I felt horrible for my son… but I also thought it was hysterical.
There are many such examples. It’s how I roll.
The thing is, there is a difference between being laughed at and having someone laugh with you.
I shared this story with my sisters and a few friends on Facebook. It was all chuckles until one of my sister started taking it a bit far. Insults. Well, ok I can deal with a couple of those, I am not that sensitive. But then some mockery. Now, well it is getting to where my feelings are getting hurt. I decide to ignore her. After the subject is worn out and dead… She keeps pecking at it and making sure I know what an idiot I am.
Someone made a comment about her going on and on and her reply was that “… she (being me) is made of teflon, everything rolls right off her.”
Wow. Does she have it wrong. I am a sponge. The only thing I can be accused of is taking everything to heart and letting everything offend and break me. I did not realize that my sister didn’t know me.
I don’t think anyone takes insults and put downs in stride. How she figures I can doesn’t even make sense. She knows I am an alcoholic that there are people in our family I hate because of they abused me. She knows I am rather fragile. I am strong too… but when it comes to being laughed at and mocked in front of the people I love and trust (there are not many) well, then I am fragile.
I want her to stop posting about my being a “doofus” and move onto a different subject. There is no way I will not confront her though. She will just find something to mock me for in the request (maybe). The thing is, I don’t trust that she won’t.
Is this enough for me to run out and drink? Yes.
I don’t think it is so bad I cannot resist though. But, it is a trigger. The way it makes me feel when I am laughed at like that… being so low, well that is a feeling I want to drown.
I am not the most astute person but I just may be one of the most sensitive. I can do my part and try to not resent her for her words yesterday. I can try to work on not being irrationally sensitive.
But I simply am not made of teflon.